Archive for June, 2012

ARIZONA DIVORCE LAWYER: COMMUNICATION ISSUES DURING AND AFTER DIVORCES (FOR THE CHILDREN’S SAKE)

Monday, June 18th, 2012

Submitted by Attorney Douglas Gardner

Tempe Arizona Divorce Attorney Speaks About Communicating With Spouse or Ex-Spouse About The Children

 

Most expensive Arizona divorces become expensive because of poor communication about the children.  Other factors can occasionally cause cases to get expensive, but generally custody issues have a large impact upon the cost of a case.

   

Except in extreme cases, the Court will generally order that the parties share joint legal custody.  Joint legal custody requires that both parents work together to make major medical, educational, and religious decisions.  In both sole custody and joint custody cases, the parties will still be required to have some level of communications regarding the logistics, including exchange times, exchange locations, and holiday scheduling.

 

In many cases, the parties will quickly (or at least eventually) learn to get along in a business-like relationship.  While the emotion and romance are long since gone, the parties should learn to work together at the business of raising their children.  Even in a business-like relationship, in which both parties are seeking to receive a personal advantage, parties can learn that it is mutually advantageous to compromise and to acquiesce to the other parent’s requests, so that at other times the other parent will compromise and acquiesce to future requests needed. 

 

It is important in developing a business-like relationship that the compromise work both ways, and the acquiescence work both ways.  If one parent is constantly a taker, and the other parent constantly acquiescing, this will cause resentment and will eventually result in a breakdown of communications and an unwillingness of one or both parents to compromise. 

 

A good divorce attorney should be able to discuss with you and share with you ways to work on communications, ways to set appropriate boundaries so that you are not taken advantage of, and other methods for “training” your ex-spouse or your soon-to-be-ex-spouse to understand that compromise works both ways. 

 

It is also of vital importance to have a detailed and strongly worded parenting plan in place.  While it is beneficial to both parents to work together and cooperate, and while it would be wonderful if both parents got along so well that the parenting plan was never needed, the fact is the parents are divorced or divorcing, and this indicates that there is a good chance that at least occasionally communications break down.  A solidly written parenting plan or custody order provides a fall back position for times when compromise is not occurring.  The parenting plan should detail the rights and responsibilities as well as the parenting times.  The parenting plan serves as the tie-breaking vote for occasions when no agreement can be reached.  The parent wishing to follow the written parenting plan prevails at that time. 

 

If you are experiencing legal issues involving custody or other difficult issues, whether as part of a divorce, after the divorce has already been entered, or a custody battle in which the parents were never married, you should have experienced legal counsel on your side. Please call 800 899-2730 and ask to speak with attorney Douglas C. Gardner, or visit our website at yourarizonadivorcelawyer.com.

Strategic Reasons for Being Nice-Custody Determination

Friday, June 8th, 2012

 

Submitted by Attorney Kirk Smith

 

In many cases, parents divorcing, or parents who were not married but are now separating, will fight a merciless custody battle for their children. The extreme acrimony attendant with such battles, in my experience, can have a very real impact on the children of these divorces. Increased cooperation between the parents lessens this emotional impact, and by itself, should be sufficient incentive for most parents to “play nice” during the subsequent legal process.  

 

None the less is there a strategic reason for one parent to be gracious to the other, outside altruism, that benefits them in the court’s final custody determination?  

 

In most cases one parent will become the primary physical custodian of the children, meaning that that parent will have the children at their residence the majority of the time each week. There are specific statutory factors the family law court examines when determining who becomes the primary physical custodian of the children. See Generally A.R.S. §25-403. 

 

One of the factors the court looks at in determining who should receive primary physical custodianship is;

 

Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent and meaningful continuing contact with the other parent. This paragraph does not apply if the court determines that a parent is acting in good faith to protect the child from witnessing an act of domestic violence or being a victim of domestic violence or child abuse.A.R.S. § 25-403 (6)

Of course in some cases the other parent is a real danger to the children therefore it is necessary to diminish that other parent’s time with the children or ask that it be supervised. More often then not, however, both parents are usually suitable to care for the children, and an attempt to completely eliminate the other parent’s time with the children will be seen by the court negatively. The parent trying to “thwart” the other parent’s visitation with the children then could seriously and detrimentally effect that parent’s  chance of becoming the primary physical custodian because that parent did not “allow the child frequent and meaningful continuing contact with the other parent.”

If you are in need of legal counsel and would like to speak with an experienced attorney, please call 800 899-2730  or visit our website at yourarizonadivorcelawyer.com. or www.davismiles.com

A rule of thumb, assuming that the other parent is not a danger to the children, is to allow and encourage the other parent’s time with the children. This does not mean that you must have a half time schedule with the other parent, nor does it mean that anytime the other parent asks for time it must be provided. What it does mean is that going to extremes by trying to eliminate the other parent’s access to the children without good cause, strategically speaking, can backfire and decrease your chances of gaining the final custody determination from the court you wish.